Honestly, lament is something that is difficult for me to get to.
It starts with acknowledging the hard things, telling the truth to myself, I don't always like that.
I'd rather —
stuff the pain
ignore the hardship
run from discomfort
And go go go. That’s what we do everyday, we keep go, go, going.
But to lament we need to:
Stop
Feel
Feel any loss
Feel any hurt we’ve received
Any sorrow for my part in it
Face the reality of repercussions...
And then:
Grieve
For me, recently I took a look at my family line.
I participated in a 3-week generational trauma healing class which helped me identify and get in touch with some painful patterns and history in the generations that came before me. And, it's stuff that, if left unaddressed, just kind of unconsciously lives on in the pattern of who we are and how we engage with the world.
Well, those patterns don’t have to continue with me, but they must first be acknowledged. Not just by my head, but my deep heart. (I come from a line of strong independent women, good right? But also... how they had to carry just So Much Weight. Through the early death of a spouse which threw them into the business of running a farm operation as a widowed woman in the '50s, or early divorce and to raise a son herself, or the weight of crippling depression - and how have the effects of this shaped and weighed on me? and lived on in who I am?)
I need to bring these things into the light.
And say this stops here:
The crippling tendency to take on too much burden, to try and play Savior to the world, to get wrapped up in dependent relationships that ultimately don't serve either of us well.
And so I bring it before the Lord - and myself -
For an exchange: I pour out what’s in me - the broken or misguided or painful parts of that family current. Like an offering before the cross (a physical act helps).
And receive what God has for me:
...
freedom
healing
grace
comfort
forgiveness
the ability to forgive
and make new choices
and align with a pure current of strength and love
and there is the transformation moment
Lament can turn our suffering into hope - even if it’s just a flicker at first like we saw in the middle of Lament - I mean who can bring light into darkness - only God.
Lament is a kind of partnership with suffering but it’s not pointless suffering that has no end - it’s bringing our suffering into the Presence - where the transformation can happen. There’s no rush, there’s no timeframe, there’s no expectation of what it will look like but we see it time and time again in the Psalms: I’m sad, everybody’s out to get me, life is hard... yet I will praise you. I’ve been burned so many times, I don’t understand, how long will evil men get away with stuff... but you are good. How can we live with corrupt government and conspiracy theories, with politicians that talk out of both sides of their mouth and leaders who only look out for themselves and engrained systems of injustice that have existed forever...
I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from the lord who made heaven and earth he will keep my foot from slipping he will watch my coming and my going... great is your faithfulness o God my father there is no shadow of turning with thee... your mercies are new every morning... the steadfast love of the lord never ceases...
This is who we bring our lament to.
Be sad, be sorrowful, be in pain - but do it in God's presence- that’s the key - for productive, redemptive suffering - and for the exchange that the Lord wants to give us - he’ll take our pain and give us beauty for ashes. Truly.
Are you willing to lament?
Are you willing to lift your eyes?
Are you open for the exchange?